all he wanted to do was get it out of there, it didn't matter where it went

Florida State football fandom, you can get with this (in theory):

...but can you live with being named that? (not that there's anything wrong with it)

I think you'll get with...wait, there is nothing phat about FSU, even if they beat Clemson tonight.

Let me tar zxvf that for you: In the land of the blind man rapping by saying a word twice, the one eyed 30 somethings are still kings.



Selah on that for a minute.

***

Demosthenes, Locke, & Hobbes, They're Cops. Dept:

People's Liberation Army hacks into Pentagon computers. Angela Merkel feels their pain.

Despite the moo shu pork-smelling threat, our Fearless Fearmongerest Leader gets ready to schedule Appalachian State for another rent-a-surgical strike. Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong here. It's a Division I-AA, uh I mean, third world army! Quagmire? Who's talking about quagmire when it's a $400,000 guaranteed win!? Sign off on those 1 mill washers and pass me a comfort girl!

***

Meanwhile, we waste the rest of our goodwill in the Americas by pounding the living be-Thor-us out of everyone else. It makes you wonder if Operation Enduring Expense Account would have been more successful if
was
,

6 was 9, and
was .

I enjoyed this tournament, safety-worded reader. Not just because being on the West Coast allowed me to catch it at a convenient hour, but because for the first time ever, I got to be in on the big damn joke secret of LBJ, Melo, and Mamba. Instead of having to play 1 on 5 with four teammates just getting in the way, they got to play with, and as, equals, and it was glorious. So hagiographic indeed, that if they had a couple more years of seasoning and time to gell with each other like shoe inserts, I honestly like their chances against the Original Dream Team. Sure, there would have been no stopping Michael Keaton feeding Christopher Lloyd in the post, but youth would most certainly have been served.



I've been Thin Lizzy, you've been the KISS Air National Guard. Good night.